So You Want To Live Authentically? What to Expect On Your Journey to The Real You

In a world inundated with societal expectations and external pressures, for many of us, the journey to living authentically can feel confusing and daunting. 

Even when you know what is authentic to you, expressing it often requires that you navigate a maze of judgment and scrutiny from others.

And so we learn quickly after embarking on this journey that authenticity is not just a personal choice—it's a radical, life-long act of self-liberation.

It’s a lifelong journey to joy, fulfillment and meaning.

Inauthenticity: Understanding How You Lose Yourself Through Conditioning

Everyone tells you to be authentic: “Just be yourself!” We all know this is easier said than done. To know why, it’s important to understand how we become disconnected from ourselves to begin with.

As you go through life, like many of us often do, you may have become trapped in cycles of seeking constant validation and approval from others.

Guided by a desire to be accepted and validated by others, you start to pursue external ideas of happiness. 

In this process, you take on layers and layers of conditioning – molding yourself into versions deemed acceptable by society – but losing yourself in the process.

However, in time you realize, this pursuit of external validation is futile, ultimately stifling your true essence and diminishing your sense of self-worth. No matter your pursuits (and even gains) of approval, you eventually find yourself deeply unfulfilled. You realize you’re living a life that’s not true to you.

Authenticity Is an Unraveling: Breaking Free From a Prison of Approval

To choose to live authentically, then, is to embark on a dynamic and ongoing process of unraveling these layers of conditioning that conceal your true self - one by one.  

This process is not easy. It involves reflecting on the external influences from your upbringing that have shaped your perceptions of yourself and the world around you. 

As you become aware of these influences, you will come face to face with the complexities of your inner landscape – and uncomfortable truths and vulnerabilities may begin to emerge. 

They can include unconscious fears, insecurities, and deeply ingrained beliefs and perceptions about who you are, and who you should be.

This can be challenging, as it takes courage to confront the parts of you that have been suppressed – many hidden even from yourself. 

But this journey is also liberating because in time you begin to embrace the full spectrum of your experiences, flaws, and imperfections. You are now attaining a deeper understanding and acceptance of your whole self.

And so you begin to not just see but to strip away the masks you’ve created and worn to conform to societal norms and expectations. 

With each layer shed, you begin to unlearn deeply ingrained patterns, shed old beliefs and begin to uncover deeper and more authentic aspects of your identity.

Be Prepared For Resistance on Your Journey to Authenticity: Understanding the Reflections of Others

Your journey of living more authentically will inevitably bring you face to face with people and situations that will challenge your new way of being.

Individuals in your life – even close family – may express disapproval, skepticism, or even hostility towards your new choices, attempting to impose their own expectations or perceptions upon you. 

It can be disheartening and discouraging to face such resistance, especially when all you desire is the freedom to be yourself without constraint or judgment.

This will further test your commitment to authenticity because being real is staying true to yourself even when faced with pressure to conform.

It may help to recognize that resistance by others is often a reflection of their own inner struggles and insecurities.

When others react negatively to your true self, it can be because your willingness to embrace who you are triggers their own discomfort with themselves or their own unfulfilled desires. 

Their resistance may stem from fear, or even a sense of inadequacy triggered by witnessing your courage to live so freely. Or, your new way of being may shake up their own world views and perceptions, challenging their comfort zones.

It’s important to recognize that their struggle is not with you, but with themselves. Your authenticity serves as a mirror reflecting back their own inner turmoil.

Understanding this can offer a sense of compassion towards those who oppose your strides toward a more authentic life.

Rather than taking their reactions personally or allowing them to deter you from being true to yourself, see their resistance as an opportunity for even greater self-awareness and growth. 

And remember, it is not your responsibility to manage others’ discomforts about your choices. But it is your responsibility to life your life in accordance with your own innermost values.

Your journey will be one where you not only liberate yourself, but your embodied authenticity will serve as a silent yet potent invitation for others to do the same.

Your authenticity becomes a beacon of empowerment, encouraging others to break free from the shackles of conformity and embrace their own true selves.

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